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亲爱的同学们 Dear students
所有练习都是同一天交 All of your exercises are due on the same day
包括练习3.8 4.10 4.12 4.13 b4 b11 So exercise 3.8, 4.10, 4.12, 4.13, b4, and b11 are all due
这在课程日历上已经注明 as indicated on your course calendar
你需要写一封便函给我 Your job is to write a memo to me
需要向我简介你的练习 Make sure that you include a brief introduction to your exercises
然后呈交练习 and then you're going to present your exercises
无需输入原题中的错误句子 You do not have to type
无需输入原题中的错误句子 the original sentence and then give me your revision
只需要给出改正后的句子即可 All that you have to provide me is with your revision
这一节简单看一下这些练习 Let's take a quick look at the exercises
第一个是98页练习3.8 The first exercise is on page 98, 3.8
练习内容是对方态度和正面强调 Your job here is to improve the you attitude and positive emphasis
这让你熟悉第三章对方态度的内容 Remember what you've learned, what you've read
这让你熟悉第三章对方态度的内容 in Chapter 3 regarding you attitude
记得站在读者的立场看问题 Remember that you want to put yourself in the reader's shoes
务必为读者提供他们需要的信息 Make sure that you provide the needed information for your reader
你要回答读者的问题 So you want to think in terms of answering the reader's questions
提供信息 让读者获得益处 and providing details and providing benefits
作为作者 Remember as the writer
你需要忘记自我 站在读者立场上 your job is take yourself out of the picture and focus on the reader
这就是练习3.8 So that is what you want to do for 3.8
提高对方态度和正面强调 improve you attitude and positive emphasis
一定要展现对方态度 Remember that to project you attitude
要和读者直接对话 you want to speak directly to the reader
是否一定要用"你" 才是对方态度呢 And do you have to use the word you to write in you attitude?
答案是否定的 The answer to that question is no
对方态度中不要使用"我" "我们" Remember however that you don't want to have an "I" or "we" attitude
因为这让人感觉作者比较自私 because it causes the sender or the writer to sound selfish
不关心收信人 或者说读者 and uninterested in the receiver or the reader
130页练习4.10 For exercise 4.10 on page 130
动词从被动改为主动 You are changing verbs from passive to active
这五个句子要改成主语执行动作的形式 And for these five sentences, you're going to make sure that
这五个句子要改成主语执行动作的形式 the subject of your sentence is performing the action
这就是主动语态 And that is what active voice means
130页练习4.12 For exercise 4.12 on page 130
去除赘述 You're going to reduce wordiness
删掉所有不必要的词语 So you're going to get rid of all the unnecessary words
所有这些练习 Please remember for all of these exercises
都不是让你改变句子意思 your job is not to change the meaning of the sentence
而是让你增强句子的表现力 Your job is to enhance the meaning of the sentence
如果完全改变了句子意思 So if you totally change the meaning of the sentence
那只能说明你的修改有误 well then you're just going to get that particular sentence incorrect
4.13
练习平行结构 You want to improve parallel structure
平行结构 或者说一致 Remember parallel structure or agreement
表示列举中使用相同语法结构 means using the same grammatical structure in a list
我说的列举并不一定是 Remember that a list does not have to be
项目符号列表或编号列表 a bulleted list or a numbered list
列举还可以在句子中出现 A list can also be presented in a sentence
当你列举三个或更多内容时 So when you have three or more items in a list
每个内容一定要使用相同语法形式 you want to make sure that you use the same grammatical form
每个内容一定要使用相同语法形式 as you present each item in that list
再看651页练习b4 Moving on to b.4 on page 651
这是另一个一致的练习 This is another exercise in agreement
还是不要改变句意 And once again do not change the meaning of the sentence
改变了就错了 If you do, you'll get the sentence incorrect
要改的只是个别单词 And really all that you have to do is change words
句子不需要重排 So you don't have to rearrange the sentence
改变部分单词 All you have to do is change words so that
让名词 代词 主谓一致 there is noun, pronoun, and subject verb agreements
记住这一点 别把练习目的搞错 So please keep it in mind, otherwise you'll get the sentence incorrect
再看652页练习b11 And moving on to b11 page 652
应该是653页 抱歉 I should say, 653. Excuse me
这是关于复数和所有格的 And you're using parallel plurals and possessives
你只需要改变个别单词即可 So you just want to make sure that you give me the correct word
作业提交时只需给我正确的句子 So you can type the sentence with the correct word in the sentence
以上就是这学期的练习 Okay, so those are your exercises for this semester
总共大概是50个句子要校正 There are approximately 50 sentences that you have to correct
打分按50分算 And so your grade with the based on 50 out of 50
做练习之前请阅读附录B Make sure that you read through Appendix B
并复习第三章和第四章内容 And make sure that you review Chapters 3 & 4
免得不知道怎么做 so that you understand what you have to do
下面着重讲一下对方态度和正面强调 Just a few more words about you attitude and positive emphasis
这个句子 Remember that this sentence
"我们拓展了存货" "We have expanded our inventory
"给您镇上最多的选择" to give you the largest selection in town"
缺乏对方态度 lacks you attitude
可以改成 However if you change it it to
"您可以在镇上品种最繁多的商品中挑选" "You can choose from the largest selection of gifts in town
"得益于Shepherd的海量库存" thanks to Shepherd's large inventory"
强调读者 读者能够挑选 You're focusing on the reader, because the reader can choose
非对方态度:"我们今天发货" Not you attitude: "We shipped your order today"
对方态度: You attitude
"您订的500件红灰运动衫将在今天发货" "The 500 red and gray sweatshirts you ordered were shipped today
"并将于下周初到货" and will reach you early next week"
发货品更具体 This is very specific what was shipped
500件红灰运动衫 the 500 red and gray sweatshirts
表现对方态度的另一种方式 So that's another way to project you attitude
是具体细致地描述读者关心的内容 is to be very specific, very detailed to focus on the reader
是具体细致地描述读者关心的内容 what the reader wants, what the reader needs, what the reader ordered
这很重要 This is very important
句中不要使用情感 You do not want to use emotion in your sentence
这就不是对方态度: So this is not you attitude
"我们很高兴给您2000美元的信用额度" "We are happy to give you a credit line of $2000"
读者不会关心你是否高兴 The reader doesn't care if you are happy not
读者只想知道他/她所关心的 The reader wants to know what he/she is going to receive
对方态度: So you attitude
"您的VISA信用额度是2000美元" "You now have a credit line of $2000 with VISA"
非对方态度: Once again, not you attitude
"知道赔偿要求得到批准您肯定会很高兴" "You will be happy to learn
"知道赔偿要求得到批准您肯定会很高兴" that your reimbursement request has been approved"
不需要无谓的情感 直接讲主题 Again, emotion is unnecessary. Just get to the point
对方态度: You attitude
"您的赔偿要求已经获得批准" "Your reimbursement request has been approved"
非对方态度:"您没能…" 这是责备读者 Not you attitude: "You failed to", that blames the reader
对方态度: So you attitude
"您的弹性支出账户表格没有签名" "Your flexible spending account form was not signed"
这就没有责备之意了 Here you're not blaming the reader
只是讲出需要做什么这一事实 You're just giving the facts as to what needs to be done
负面情况时 避免使用"你" In negative situations, avoid the word you
保护读者的自尊心 Protect the reader's ego
使用被动语态和客观表达避免责备读者 Use passive verbs and impersonal expressions to avoid assigning blame
我敢说 大约80%的写作都应该用主动语态 I would say probably 80% of your writing will be in the active voice
不过在讲坏消息时 however when you have to give bad news
应该使用被动语态 that will be in the passive voice
还是这个 So again
"您没能在弹性支出账户表格上签名" "You failed to sign your flexible spending account form"
对方态度应该是 You attitude will be
"您的弹性支出账户表格没有签名" "Your flexible spending account form was not signed"
在练习和作业中 务必处理好主动和被动语态 Please keep in mind for the exercises
在练习和作业中 务必处理好主动和被动语态 and for your assignment that deal with passive versus active
大多数情况下 You're going to make sure that
都应该使用主动语态 you change all those sentences to the active voice
正面强调和对方态度 Positive emphasis and you attitude
是建立良好关系的一部分 really are part of building goodwill
另外 语气也是建立良好关系的一部分 Also part of the building goodwill will be tone
这展现了作者对读者的态度 and that is the attitude the writer takes toward the reader
注意文字的措辞 and so those will be the words that you use
语气能够肩负正面强调和对方态度的作用 Again the tone really does
语气能够肩负正面强调和对方态度的作用 piggyback on positive emphasis and you attitude
在商务中 文字不带偏见显然也很重要 and of course for business, it's very important
在商务中 文字不带偏见显然也很重要 to make sure that your language is bias-free
必须使用性别中立代词 So you want to make sure that you use gender inclusive pronouns
即使用他/她 他的/她的 Make sure that you use he/she, her/his
语言使用不得性别歧视或种族歧视 Eliminating language that is sexist or racist
不得包含特定人群的成见 and using language that stereotypes a particular group
所有这些都是建立良好关系的基础 So all of these items are part of building goodwill
商务作者务必要反映出良好意愿 As a business writer, you want to make sure
商务作者务必要反映出良好意愿 that your writing projects goodwill
包含正面强调 对方态度 including positive emphasis, you attitude
合理的语气和不带偏见的语言 effective tone, and bias-free language
祝大家练习愉快 Have fun revising the exercises
这是非常好的练习 I think this is very good practice for you
记得使用 Remember to incorporate
正面强调和对方态度 all of the elements of positive emphasis, you attitude
并避免常见写作错误 and eliminating the common writing errors
写作错误另有视频专门讲解 This information I posted for you in other podcast
大家一定记得观看 So make sure that you look through that list
请务必看一遍附录B Make sure that you review Appendix B
尽力做好练习 And do the best that you can