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How to be a super hero
Tall and powerfully built,
they love to fulfil tasks which belong to
the government and police
with the help of great hidden talent.
Yes,they are super heroes.
They are signed hatchet
men of DC and Marvel Comics.
According to the species,they can
be divided into four kinds as follows.
First,Aliens
They are from other planets.
But they observe the customs
of the earth very well.
They drink Cola,eat potato chips
and pursue the beautiful women.
For example,the leader of performance art-
superman who usually wears a
blue costume, red cape, and undershorts.
He is an office clerk who
hits the monsters occasionally.
Besides,the god Thor with hammer
is only interested in fighting.
People who do not know him may
think he is just a troublemaker.
Anyway,these 'foreigners'
just want to be famous.
Second,Mutant
They were once the common earth people.
But they transform physically for
innate reasons or acquired factors,such as Hulk.
This large green humanoid possesses
near limitless superhuman strength
and great invulnerability.
But in fact, he is just like
a stupid arcade game villain.
For example,the spiderman who can
shoot spider-webs and play
gymnastics moves like Tarzan of the Apes.
Wolverine who possesses healing
factor that allows him to recover
from wounds must be the favourite
eunuch in the imperial palace.
Third,Rich Man
Although they don't have super power,
rich men own enough money to burn.
And that's all that matters.
Statistically speaking, one can be
Batman with 4.16 billion RMB
and Iron Man with 9.94 billion RMB.
If one can get 1988 wins of the top prize
in lottery,he will fulfill
the dream of being a super hero.
That is to say,*** Jianlin(the richest
man in mainland China) can have 21 Batmen
or 9 Iron Men with his total assets.
Fourth,diligent average person
They are just ordinary people such as
Eagle Eye who can shoot with great precision
and Catwoman who is exceptionally swift.
Lacking money,they 'Make a Little Progress
Every Day' ,study diligently and train hard.
An idiot named KIck-*** once said
that everyone wants to be a super hero.
Actually,the life of a super
hero is indeed miserable.
He can never eliminate the bad guys
thoroughly and his life is always in danger.
In other words,super hero is
just an off-hour hobby like
the leafleteer or temporary model.
But it's a tough job which
requires strict standards.
The tragic life experience
You will be shamed to heal
the world if you don't lose parents.
Sophisticated equipment
The civilian spider-man's 'spider
clothes' cost more than 500,000 RMB.
But if you are rich,
you can wear whatever you like.
For example,the chivalrous Green Arrow
likes to help the weak in rags.
Strong sense of justice
You have to ignore the law,be
utterly isolated and act like a villain.
Answer violence with violence.
A legitimate job
Super man is a journalist
and spider-man is a deliveryman.
An ordinary career will
help you to hide your identity.
Fixed lover
Super man has his female colleague,
Eagle Eye has Black Widow
and Iron Man has Pepper.
Thus you have to get a fixed ***
partner to avoid endocrine dyscrasia.
An invincible opponent
A master without opponent
will die for loneliness.
Fatal weakness
Spider-man can't lose
his girlfriend and aunt May.
Thor cares about his younger brother.
And for the green giant Hulk,
the biggest problem is nothing to eat.
Super heroes has no friends.
If you still want to be a super hero,
you should find a rich god father
who is willing to spend money on you.
Or you can get close with poisonous insects
so that you may transform fortunately.